I’m writing this now, because today I figured out why I haven’t written anything in here since February 24, 2020. Which is kind of a long time for a guy out of work who was going to practice writing blog entries every day to not actually do that every day but here I am back again, run on sentences and all, so let me try to explain, because it’s interesting.
Yeah, been out of practice. Let me try again.
COVID-19’s been quite a bugbear. Something deep in my slowly unraveling hypothalamus wants me to try to make a joke about bugs and bear markets but that’s as close as I’ll get and it’s pretty fuckin’ far away, just like my time horizon isn’t.
Wait. I just can’t seem to get this right.
This morning I was thinking, I should get my ass back in gear. See, I’ve been slacking off in so many ways basically living day to day, and it occurred to me that all the things I wanted to do – the things that would make life better, were things that didn’t have an immediate payoff.
The reason I wasn’t doing anything: my time horizon had been reset to almost zero, because the universe was on hold and I was thinking I could catch a Chinese superflu that could punch my ticket early on this planet.
Why write a novel?
Why practice blogging?
Why learn to play piano, or get physically fit?
Exactly right – if you don’t have a future then there’s no reason to do just about anything apart from mindlessly reload Twitter, finish Half-Life: Black Mesa, and drink. Which is just about all I’ve been doing, at least that I care to mention here.
Oh, and taking care of my family and not going out of my mind in any other appreciable way, while the more normal people of my acquaintance do occasionally lose it. I get to be the one inoculated to intellecthorrhages.
But today, for some reason, I don’t know. I feel like Tyrion in the last episode of Game of Thrones to contain any elements that were marginally not terrible (take your time to parse that one) and I’m thinking…yeah. I might survive this whole COVID-19 thing.
And if I’m gonna survive that means I’ll be around, and if that mean I’ll be around I’d better start doing shit again and I see my time horizon moving back out, and that’s a good thing.
Unlike this blog entry, which is a terrible thing. I will follow up with something better tomorrow, because I’m reasonably confident…I’ll be here.
Later!