There are definitely times when I am aware that the guys who say we have no free will definitely have an argument, even if I don’t think they express themselves quite accurately.
Case in point, most of the no-free-will guys (I’m looking at you Scott Adams) have made quite a pretty penny selling self-help books which depend quite a lot on people’s capacity to evaluate choices and select courses of action based on perceived and understood criteria, and if my consciousness isn’t the thing in actual control of that, if I’m perceiving this process after that fact, then that’s fine. If I’m a robot, that’s fine. There are robots that do things to preserve themselves too. I’m just a very advanced robot with self-modifying biological code.
All of this to say: I spent the weekend doing fuckall and I know I probably shouldn’t have. But I sat there and kind of observed myself doing fuckall, and I knew I wasn’t going to do anything but fuckall, and when I was done with the weekend, and done with fuckall, I knew that today, I would shape myself up somehow, which I did, and the fuckall would end.
Trouble is, doing fuckall has left me a bit behind in some personally tracked metrics, ranging from my weight to my job hunt, and even to that time I posted a response to James Altucher who challenged me to write a book in thirty days, and then I posted what I thought was a clever response, saying “Challenge Accepted” and then did absolutely…well, fuckall.
Hmm. I wasn’t going to drop any more f-bombs in here while I’m looking for a job. Then again, nobody quite knows this thing exists, and/or who writes it, which is me, but if you don’t know who I am, that’s fine, and it’s more likely that these bizarre run-on sentences are more of a turn off than the occasional fuck or kneebiter.
We’re still in the universe where “kneebiter” is the ultimate bad word right?
What? C-Word? THAT? Oh man. I better check my simulation. This sounds like the SARS nCov-2 universe, and that place is nuts nuts nuts.
Anyway. I guess what I’m saying is, it’s interesting to watch what I do and don’t do and it’s interesting sometimes that I just can’t get up the wherewithal to do the things I have to do. Even though I know I have to do these things. What part if me does the knowing? What part of me does the doing? Should they be connected? Is it possible that they’re disconnected?
Is this all nothing more than my perceptions perceiving themselves and creating a strange loop of endlessness that eventually just gets tired out and wants to lie on the couch watching YouTube and eating three-month-old peppermint bark and candy canes, all the while thinking damn I should try carnivore?
You thought there was gonna be more? Nah. Still kinda waitin’ for that fuckall biome to clear out so I can get back on track.
Tomorrow’s entry will better. It will also be…
…Later!