Just a little hint from Heloise this morning. This morning I was lamenting my fate – wait, no, that’s wrong, I don’t use language like that, it’s harmful and destructive. Let’s just say I was considering my situation (brief summary: laid off after 15 years at almost age 50) and perhaps paying attention to some of the negative potentialities thereof and those negatives started to affect my mood as they are wont to do. Then I thought about it and realized that what’s happening to me right now is not all that different from a typical early retirement package that they offer year-over-year – in fact, it’s almost identical.
And the last time they threw that around, I lamented that I wasn’t old enough to take it. That was last year. And I took a lot of pleasure in telling whoever would listen that I would be eligible for it this year.
Well, I got it, didn’t I? And the only difference was, it wasn’t voluntary. I don’t get the opportunity to chicken out. I have to take it. And I thought a thought that was so bitchin’ I just wanted to get here as soon as possible and write it for anyone else that might be in a similar spot. I thought this:
I’ll just pretend I decided to do this on purpose.
Immediately I fell in love with that notion. Immediately I was not just being put upon by the fates, immediately my perceived locus of control shifted from the external to the internal, and immediately I felt better.
This I offer to you. If you have been put in this position – no matter what, whether you have a year of severance or two weeks’ notice or less – reframe that shit and tell yourself you quit. Tell yourself you are getting yourself something better.
I can pretty much guarantee, the vicissitudes of life and experience being what they are, and the law of averages being what it is, and the moods and chemicals in the brain being what they are, if you’ve worked somewhere for more than a year or so, you’ve had at least one instance to think: “eff this place, I should just quit. There must be something better.” Or some shit.
Time for the rubber to meet the road. You can’t think about what’s been lost but you can focus on what can be gained. And you can put yourself in control by saying you meant to do this, this is your life, and your direction.
Hell, I half think I made this happen simply by visualizing leaving so often and so clearly, over the past year or so. I’ve even mentioned in here that I already had a (somewhat updated) copy of my resume and a LinkedIn Pro subscription and as Blake says – A MAN DON’T WALK ON THE LOT LEST HE WANTS TO BUY!
You meant to do this, it’s your destiny. It’s true from a particular point of view. Life is Darth Vader and Obi Wan Kenobi all mixed together into a delicious pate of Your Focus Determines Your Reality. The truth is Qui-Gon Jinn.
That’s all. I hope this helps. Later.